I
hate
being
a
grownup.
It's really a ridiculous concept and I'm thinking about boycotting it altogether. Never in history have people been required to work this hard. Let me explain before I get the "uphill both ways, barefoot" stories. Yes, in ages past, people worked long hours and more physically demanding jobs. But when work was over, it was over. There was time for family and big meals and sleep. Now, I literally have less than thirty minutes a day to do anything leisure related. (In fact, I should be studying right now. )My grandma's generation was lucky to get through high school in a rural town. My parents only needed a solid bachelor's degree. Now, you'll be hard pressed to find a job of any marketable value unless you have a graduate degree...which is time consuming and miserable (and I haven't even started yet).
Here's a typical day in the life of Mrs. Twentysomething:
7:30-wake up and get ready for class
8:30-2:00-class
2:30-4:00-staff meeting
4:00-5:00-finish 1/10 of my homework
5:00-6:30-make and eat dinner
6:30-7:00-clean up after dinner to some miserably insufficient extent
7:00-8:30-study for GRE and/or look for new job
9pm-9am-overnight shift at work (I get to sleep...some)
*in between I cram in whatever flash cards I can study or fold laundry that's reaching the height of a third grader.
7:00-start all over
REALLY?!?! All I want to do is get a degree in counseling so I can help people. Obviously, it is important to know what you're doing...but this pattern that is becoming more and more essential in our society is completely absurd. Our families and relationships are suffering because of unrealistic expectations regarding time and goals. Our health is taking a hit because we are short on sleep and exercise and high on stress. We have little time for friends or social events because we're always "on-call" or doing research, or working late. Where have our priorities gone? Is this really what America has become? I think it's sick honestly. The only reason I intend to put up with it is to, hopefully, end up doing what I feel passionate about, with a schedule that I WILL NOT let ruin relationships.
Even so, I always have to fight it. I can easily become enamored with the glitter and attractiveness of searching after "the good life." But, in the end...what's so good about it?
The Autumn Morning
It's a lovely morning.
I'm drinking a pumpkin spice latte and all is well in my autumnal world.
I'm feeling rather melancholy and thought of something wise that Mr. Twentysomething said the other day. Basically...people mature to the level at which their environment demands. Life circumstances are the catalyst that causes us to "grow up." He has first hand experience with this. He was essentially forced to live on his own at fifteen because of a series of unfortunate events. Thus, he has had to rise to the occasion. He wasn't given the luxury of someone taking care of him or babying him through school or college. He has worked, payed bills, and made it through college on his own. A few years ago, that was something I could never dream of doing.
This has been an interesting idea for me. I have been feeling overwhelmed with school, preparing for graduate school, working, and trying to still do the marriage thing with some amount of grace. It's all been a lot for me and my natural inclination is to be a perfectionist until I can't sustain it any longer and fall off the face of the planet or cut out some huge chunk of my life just to keep my head above water. Obviously, none of those things can just be cut out at this point in my life. So, I've been contemplating that thought and agree with him. I come from a wonderful family and one that has always supported me. I have never had to really do anything that was challenging. In fact, someone has always been there to help out if things ever got too stressful. This is my chance to use my circumstances to grow up. I have the option of falling apart and hacking out a piece of my life or stepping up. But why go without something wonderful and/or necessary when I could learn to handle stress better?
I'm not advocating taking on a multitude of activities just to prove something to yourself. In fact, I am a huge proponent for simplification (I'll probably post about that soon as well...because I've been thinking about that lately too). However, when things can't be gotten rid of (like marriage, school, and work), I challenge you to look at your situation as a chance to rise to the occasion. And by "rise to the occasion" I don't mean be the best in your career or graduate with honors. It is far more than that. It is living with integrity, kindness, and quiet trust despite what we're going through. It's about building character and putting away childish ways of reacting when we don't get what we want. We are made up of more strength than we realize and don't have to fall apart in the midst of crazy schedules or hard life circumstances.
Remember..."He has given us everything we need for life and Godliness."
Here's to a crazy, beautiful fall season.
The Perfect Weekend
I had the most lovely, wonderful weekend. Hubs and I are finally learning to speak to each other calmly. We tend to be highly over dramatic. But we've really been doing better lately. I am happy to say, that I probably won't die of a heart attack...at least not anytime soon, anyway. So we've been going along in our calm little world and topped off a good couple of weeks with a fabulous weekend. Friday was spent with friends, dinner and wine, and a wet-pants inducing game. Obviously, a no-fail combination. Then I came home to the sweetest, most romantic husband ever and, well...the night ended well ;)
Because we are poor newlyweds, we have little extra spending money. Therefore I have been recycling clothing. ie. cutting pants into shorts and reaching into the abyss of my closet to pull out clothes I haven't worn in years. All this is an effort to keep things interesting and prevent feeling like I'm wearing the same shirt four times a week. TODAY however, we went shopping. We budgeted out some money and had quite a lovely morning doing some fall shopping. I really have never been that excited for buying new things. I felt like I hit the jackpot with the few bills I had in my hand. I can't buy anything I want anymore, but the times when I do are immensely exciting. I got quite a few nice essentials. Now, if only I could convince my mom to have mercy on me and buy me a leather jacket for Christmas...
Finally, we went shopping for some Halloween decorations. This is not my idea of a good time and I'm not even really a fan of the holiday. But according to this marriage thing, I have to think about someone else now. So I let hubs get a few things. I was expecting to have hideous boy things all around...you know, cobwebs and blood. The works. Apparently I had forgotten the kind of guy I married. He's adorable. He gets so excited about holidays because his family was never the type that celebrated or decorated for anything. So here's what he chose: a sign for our door that says, "Halloween" with a cheery black cat on it; a large pumpkin figurine; a figurine of two ghosts holding a sign that says, "Boo!"; and a another Halloween sign for our table...this one has pumpkins and cats grinning away. So if you ever come see our lovely little home, you can thank Mr. Twentysomething. He's a goober..but he's my goober :)
Finally, we'll top the day off with a movie. In fact, he just walked in with pumpkin ice cream. This is what he said, "I brought home pumpkin ice cream! There's only one condition............you can't binge."
Deal.
Because we are poor newlyweds, we have little extra spending money. Therefore I have been recycling clothing. ie. cutting pants into shorts and reaching into the abyss of my closet to pull out clothes I haven't worn in years. All this is an effort to keep things interesting and prevent feeling like I'm wearing the same shirt four times a week. TODAY however, we went shopping. We budgeted out some money and had quite a lovely morning doing some fall shopping. I really have never been that excited for buying new things. I felt like I hit the jackpot with the few bills I had in my hand. I can't buy anything I want anymore, but the times when I do are immensely exciting. I got quite a few nice essentials. Now, if only I could convince my mom to have mercy on me and buy me a leather jacket for Christmas...
Finally, we went shopping for some Halloween decorations. This is not my idea of a good time and I'm not even really a fan of the holiday. But according to this marriage thing, I have to think about someone else now. So I let hubs get a few things. I was expecting to have hideous boy things all around...you know, cobwebs and blood. The works. Apparently I had forgotten the kind of guy I married. He's adorable. He gets so excited about holidays because his family was never the type that celebrated or decorated for anything. So here's what he chose: a sign for our door that says, "Halloween" with a cheery black cat on it; a large pumpkin figurine; a figurine of two ghosts holding a sign that says, "Boo!"; and a another Halloween sign for our table...this one has pumpkins and cats grinning away. So if you ever come see our lovely little home, you can thank Mr. Twentysomething. He's a goober..but he's my goober :)
Finally, we'll top the day off with a movie. In fact, he just walked in with pumpkin ice cream. This is what he said, "I brought home pumpkin ice cream! There's only one condition............you can't binge."
Deal.
