This Autumn has certainly been a season of change in more ways than one. I have been so caught up in my own world. My relationships, environment, and being are all changing and, sometimes, I cannot see beyond those problems. But on this day, Thanksgiving, I am reminded of all I have to be joyful about and where my priorities are at the moment. In the midst of all the craziness that comes with life transitions and growing up, it's easy to lose sight of the important things...the things that make our life worth living and inspire a grateful heart. So, here are my musings about what I have to be so doggone happy about:
My friends that all text me after the GRE to see how it went, my crazy beautiful husband who is everything I'm not, my friendship with my mom that has really begun to blossom, completing my degree!, a cozy little apartment decked in boughs of holly, the opportunity to encourage others at my current job, living in America, my new/big family, flannel snowflake sheets, a full week off from work and school, good health, foods of all variety and amazingness, and a Sovereign God.
Despite all my fears, God is good. Always. Regardless of the outcome of graduate school or the coming and going of friendships, He remains steadfast and faithful. A love so immense, that He took my place. A heart so vastly beyond my comprehension, I should feel nothing but awe. He loves me unimaginably and this perfect love casts out all fear. When all the smoke has clear, there reamins a grateful heart.
Happy Thanksgiving.
The Test
I took the GRE last Monday. It went pretty well. The test is divided into two major sections: verbal and quantitative, each with a max score of 800. There is also a third, writing section, that is scored on a scale of one to six. If you're going to take it soon, here are my tips:
-The two essays in the writing section are really easy. Just use big words, references to current or historical events, and, most importantly, a clear outline of your basic points.
-If you feel like you are a math idiot and you're bombing it, you might be. BUT, more likely than not, you're probably doing fine. I say this because, I felt like I knew the answer to about two questions, but, according to my score, I knew a few more than that. Some people said that memorizing geometry and algebra equations was one of the most important things you could do to help raise your score. When I got to the quantitative portion, I felt like I really didn't use many of those equations; but, then again, maybe that was because I had no idea what I was doing on that sections. Your call.
-The verbal sections is considered the hardest, but I felt the best about that. It is essential to study vocabulary words. Books such as the Princeton Review include what is called the "Hit Parade." This is a list of words that commonly appear on the GRE. Start early, and memorize these words and their definitions! I saw a TON of these words on the actual test.
-Lastly, relax. If you're decently intelligent, you'll do fine. If you got a respectable score on your ACT or SAT, you'll likely get a respectable score on the GRE.
I studied for about 2 months. I think I could have taken it in six weeks and done just as well. With this amount of study time, I scored about 100 to 200 points more than some of my friends that took the test after studying for only about a week. Depending on the schools you're applying to, more or less studying is in order. Check the school's website to determine what their minimum score is. Then, take the stupid thing, go get some drinks, lay in bed all day reading New Moon and, finally, stuff yourself on turkey and Thanksgiving goodness! I surely have a lot to be thankful for this year :)
-The two essays in the writing section are really easy. Just use big words, references to current or historical events, and, most importantly, a clear outline of your basic points.
-If you feel like you are a math idiot and you're bombing it, you might be. BUT, more likely than not, you're probably doing fine. I say this because, I felt like I knew the answer to about two questions, but, according to my score, I knew a few more than that. Some people said that memorizing geometry and algebra equations was one of the most important things you could do to help raise your score. When I got to the quantitative portion, I felt like I really didn't use many of those equations; but, then again, maybe that was because I had no idea what I was doing on that sections. Your call.
-The verbal sections is considered the hardest, but I felt the best about that. It is essential to study vocabulary words. Books such as the Princeton Review include what is called the "Hit Parade." This is a list of words that commonly appear on the GRE. Start early, and memorize these words and their definitions! I saw a TON of these words on the actual test.
-Lastly, relax. If you're decently intelligent, you'll do fine. If you got a respectable score on your ACT or SAT, you'll likely get a respectable score on the GRE.
I studied for about 2 months. I think I could have taken it in six weeks and done just as well. With this amount of study time, I scored about 100 to 200 points more than some of my friends that took the test after studying for only about a week. Depending on the schools you're applying to, more or less studying is in order. Check the school's website to determine what their minimum score is. Then, take the stupid thing, go get some drinks, lay in bed all day reading New Moon and, finally, stuff yourself on turkey and Thanksgiving goodness! I surely have a lot to be thankful for this year :)
The Christmas Delivery
Do you ever have those mornings that you wish you could just do over? Or skip altogether? I had one of those mornings. One of those mornings where you just keep hoping and trying to make things better, but inevitably you accept the fact that it is just a "tomorrow will be better" kind of day.
We were getting ready to drop off some boxes stuffed with Christmas presents at our church. The boxes are for children in poverty-stricken countries that would otherwise not have a Christmas. We stayed up late last night and were both a little on edge. Still, we both keep attempting to be relaxed and generally civil to one another....here's how our morning went:
ATTEMPT NO.1
Mr. Twentysomething: "I'm sorry for being crabby. I really need to work on that, especially when you're pregnant." (Have no fear, we are not pregnant and do not intend on getting pregnant anytime soon. We just talk about babies incessantly...we really need to get a dog.) This led us to discussing labor pains and the curse after the "fall of man." Then, Mr.Twentysomething wants to discuss evolution vs. creationism with me. Insightful woman that I am, I knew this would be a terrible idea given the morning that we were having. You see, Mr.Twentysomething likes to debate and analyze. It usually leads to an argument rather than accomplishing anything of value. Therefore, I thought we should change subjects. Long story short, we ended up arguing about how much a Christian should study evolution in order to have an informed conversation about the matter.
ATTEMPT NO.2
Mr.T thinks that I am a cold, heartless witch when we argue (Okay, so not in so many words...) so I went over to hug him because I know he appreciates that. Normally this would work, but not today. Today, the marriage gods were against us. We finally decided that a change of scenery was exactly what we needed and that, if we could just get our butts out the door to church, we would magically quit bickering.
ATTEMPT NO.3
Sweet, Mr.T took the liberty of dropping me off by the church doors so I wouldn't have to walk in the rain :) I successfully deliver the Christmas packages and place them under the glittering Christmas tree...a symbol of hope and joy. When I turn around, Mr.T is now standing in the foyer of the church and is obviously struggling with my umbrella that is stubbornly not retracting. I go to help him with it because I know how to operate the thing...but out of frustration, he insists on forcing it closed. Bad idea. It shoots back open and hits him in the....er, crotch (karma). We decided it might be best if we didn't attend the service this morning....tomorrow will be better.
Santa Shmanta...pretty sure he gets cookies and magic to help him through the gift-delivery process! But when all is said and done, it's worth it. Mr.Twentysomething reminded me that our morning of frustration is minor compared to what these children deal with every day. Hopefully the boxes bring cheer to their hearts and a message of hope. That's what Christmas is all about. So, even though it's a little early, here's to a merry Christmas and a sweet, peaceful holiday.
http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/OCC/
We were getting ready to drop off some boxes stuffed with Christmas presents at our church. The boxes are for children in poverty-stricken countries that would otherwise not have a Christmas. We stayed up late last night and were both a little on edge. Still, we both keep attempting to be relaxed and generally civil to one another....here's how our morning went:
ATTEMPT NO.1
Mr. Twentysomething: "I'm sorry for being crabby. I really need to work on that, especially when you're pregnant." (Have no fear, we are not pregnant and do not intend on getting pregnant anytime soon. We just talk about babies incessantly...we really need to get a dog.) This led us to discussing labor pains and the curse after the "fall of man." Then, Mr.Twentysomething wants to discuss evolution vs. creationism with me. Insightful woman that I am, I knew this would be a terrible idea given the morning that we were having. You see, Mr.Twentysomething likes to debate and analyze. It usually leads to an argument rather than accomplishing anything of value. Therefore, I thought we should change subjects. Long story short, we ended up arguing about how much a Christian should study evolution in order to have an informed conversation about the matter.
ATTEMPT NO.2
Mr.T thinks that I am a cold, heartless witch when we argue (Okay, so not in so many words...) so I went over to hug him because I know he appreciates that. Normally this would work, but not today. Today, the marriage gods were against us. We finally decided that a change of scenery was exactly what we needed and that, if we could just get our butts out the door to church, we would magically quit bickering.
ATTEMPT NO.3
Sweet, Mr.T took the liberty of dropping me off by the church doors so I wouldn't have to walk in the rain :) I successfully deliver the Christmas packages and place them under the glittering Christmas tree...a symbol of hope and joy. When I turn around, Mr.T is now standing in the foyer of the church and is obviously struggling with my umbrella that is stubbornly not retracting. I go to help him with it because I know how to operate the thing...but out of frustration, he insists on forcing it closed. Bad idea. It shoots back open and hits him in the....er, crotch (karma). We decided it might be best if we didn't attend the service this morning....tomorrow will be better.
Santa Shmanta...pretty sure he gets cookies and magic to help him through the gift-delivery process! But when all is said and done, it's worth it. Mr.Twentysomething reminded me that our morning of frustration is minor compared to what these children deal with every day. Hopefully the boxes bring cheer to their hearts and a message of hope. That's what Christmas is all about. So, even though it's a little early, here's to a merry Christmas and a sweet, peaceful holiday.
http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/OCC/
The Vent Session
I went out with some lovely friends recently. These friends are at a similar life stage as I am and it was ridiculously refreshing. We spent the majority of our time together just whining about the impending change looming in front of us. But, if you know anything about girls, it was exactly what I needed. Boys punch things, girls whine. It's just a law of the universe.
Most people in my life at the moment cannot identify with where I'm at. Coworkers are much older with families already, friends have been out of college and in the working world for several years...or have several years left in college. Mr. Twentysomething has his whole life figured out and really can't understand my qualms. Everyone assures me that "it will be fine and you will adjust"....but, really, when did that kind of advice ever help anyone?
"It's okay that you have elephantiasis, Pam. Everything will be fine. Don't worry, you'll adjust!"
So, needless to say, some good whining was just the ticket. In other words, rumination...aka. think and talk about something until there's nothing left to be said and you want to gag at the thought of mentioning the topic one more time. Girls are known the world over for doing this. Boys ignore the problem and play video games or sports; girls ruminate. Just having someone that knows exactly what you're going through gives a sense of community and like you're not the only one that's freaking out about this huge life change.
I admit, I probably overreact to the situation at times. But, this has, by far, been the most fear-inducing event in my life. I am all about stability and simplicity, and this is anything but. The simple conclusion that we came to, but one that is probably the hardest to implement is the old saying, "roll with the punches." Many times in my life I have found that it is better to go with the flow and not hold so tightly to what we know or what we want. The fact is, college was not like high school and post-grad will not be like college, but it can still be good. Preconceived ideas of what life SHOULD be like and unrealistic expectations have always plagued me. As much as I liked my time as a college student, things change. They are neither good nor bad, just different (wow, Confucius anyone?) And I have to learn to be flexible. Don't worry...I'll keep you posted.
But for now, I'll leave you with more wisdom from my mother, "...you don't want to be one of those people that never leaves college." Thanks mom!
Most people in my life at the moment cannot identify with where I'm at. Coworkers are much older with families already, friends have been out of college and in the working world for several years...or have several years left in college. Mr. Twentysomething has his whole life figured out and really can't understand my qualms. Everyone assures me that "it will be fine and you will adjust"....but, really, when did that kind of advice ever help anyone?
"It's okay that you have elephantiasis, Pam. Everything will be fine. Don't worry, you'll adjust!"
So, needless to say, some good whining was just the ticket. In other words, rumination...aka. think and talk about something until there's nothing left to be said and you want to gag at the thought of mentioning the topic one more time. Girls are known the world over for doing this. Boys ignore the problem and play video games or sports; girls ruminate. Just having someone that knows exactly what you're going through gives a sense of community and like you're not the only one that's freaking out about this huge life change.
I admit, I probably overreact to the situation at times. But, this has, by far, been the most fear-inducing event in my life. I am all about stability and simplicity, and this is anything but. The simple conclusion that we came to, but one that is probably the hardest to implement is the old saying, "roll with the punches." Many times in my life I have found that it is better to go with the flow and not hold so tightly to what we know or what we want. The fact is, college was not like high school and post-grad will not be like college, but it can still be good. Preconceived ideas of what life SHOULD be like and unrealistic expectations have always plagued me. As much as I liked my time as a college student, things change. They are neither good nor bad, just different (wow, Confucius anyone?) And I have to learn to be flexible. Don't worry...I'll keep you posted.
But for now, I'll leave you with more wisdom from my mother, "...you don't want to be one of those people that never leaves college." Thanks mom!
The "Good Life"
I
hate
being
a
grownup.
It's really a ridiculous concept and I'm thinking about boycotting it altogether. Never in history have people been required to work this hard. Let me explain before I get the "uphill both ways, barefoot" stories. Yes, in ages past, people worked long hours and more physically demanding jobs. But when work was over, it was over. There was time for family and big meals and sleep. Now, I literally have less than thirty minutes a day to do anything leisure related. (In fact, I should be studying right now. )My grandma's generation was lucky to get through high school in a rural town. My parents only needed a solid bachelor's degree. Now, you'll be hard pressed to find a job of any marketable value unless you have a graduate degree...which is time consuming and miserable (and I haven't even started yet).
Here's a typical day in the life of Mrs. Twentysomething:
7:30-wake up and get ready for class
8:30-2:00-class
2:30-4:00-staff meeting
4:00-5:00-finish 1/10 of my homework
5:00-6:30-make and eat dinner
6:30-7:00-clean up after dinner to some miserably insufficient extent
7:00-8:30-study for GRE and/or look for new job
9pm-9am-overnight shift at work (I get to sleep...some)
*in between I cram in whatever flash cards I can study or fold laundry that's reaching the height of a third grader.
7:00-start all over
REALLY?!?! All I want to do is get a degree in counseling so I can help people. Obviously, it is important to know what you're doing...but this pattern that is becoming more and more essential in our society is completely absurd. Our families and relationships are suffering because of unrealistic expectations regarding time and goals. Our health is taking a hit because we are short on sleep and exercise and high on stress. We have little time for friends or social events because we're always "on-call" or doing research, or working late. Where have our priorities gone? Is this really what America has become? I think it's sick honestly. The only reason I intend to put up with it is to, hopefully, end up doing what I feel passionate about, with a schedule that I WILL NOT let ruin relationships.
Even so, I always have to fight it. I can easily become enamored with the glitter and attractiveness of searching after "the good life." But, in the end...what's so good about it?
hate
being
a
grownup.
It's really a ridiculous concept and I'm thinking about boycotting it altogether. Never in history have people been required to work this hard. Let me explain before I get the "uphill both ways, barefoot" stories. Yes, in ages past, people worked long hours and more physically demanding jobs. But when work was over, it was over. There was time for family and big meals and sleep. Now, I literally have less than thirty minutes a day to do anything leisure related. (In fact, I should be studying right now. )My grandma's generation was lucky to get through high school in a rural town. My parents only needed a solid bachelor's degree. Now, you'll be hard pressed to find a job of any marketable value unless you have a graduate degree...which is time consuming and miserable (and I haven't even started yet).
Here's a typical day in the life of Mrs. Twentysomething:
7:30-wake up and get ready for class
8:30-2:00-class
2:30-4:00-staff meeting
4:00-5:00-finish 1/10 of my homework
5:00-6:30-make and eat dinner
6:30-7:00-clean up after dinner to some miserably insufficient extent
7:00-8:30-study for GRE and/or look for new job
9pm-9am-overnight shift at work (I get to sleep...some)
*in between I cram in whatever flash cards I can study or fold laundry that's reaching the height of a third grader.
7:00-start all over
REALLY?!?! All I want to do is get a degree in counseling so I can help people. Obviously, it is important to know what you're doing...but this pattern that is becoming more and more essential in our society is completely absurd. Our families and relationships are suffering because of unrealistic expectations regarding time and goals. Our health is taking a hit because we are short on sleep and exercise and high on stress. We have little time for friends or social events because we're always "on-call" or doing research, or working late. Where have our priorities gone? Is this really what America has become? I think it's sick honestly. The only reason I intend to put up with it is to, hopefully, end up doing what I feel passionate about, with a schedule that I WILL NOT let ruin relationships.
Even so, I always have to fight it. I can easily become enamored with the glitter and attractiveness of searching after "the good life." But, in the end...what's so good about it?
The Autumn Morning
It's a lovely morning.
I'm drinking a pumpkin spice latte and all is well in my autumnal world.
I'm feeling rather melancholy and thought of something wise that Mr. Twentysomething said the other day. Basically...people mature to the level at which their environment demands. Life circumstances are the catalyst that causes us to "grow up." He has first hand experience with this. He was essentially forced to live on his own at fifteen because of a series of unfortunate events. Thus, he has had to rise to the occasion. He wasn't given the luxury of someone taking care of him or babying him through school or college. He has worked, payed bills, and made it through college on his own. A few years ago, that was something I could never dream of doing.
This has been an interesting idea for me. I have been feeling overwhelmed with school, preparing for graduate school, working, and trying to still do the marriage thing with some amount of grace. It's all been a lot for me and my natural inclination is to be a perfectionist until I can't sustain it any longer and fall off the face of the planet or cut out some huge chunk of my life just to keep my head above water. Obviously, none of those things can just be cut out at this point in my life. So, I've been contemplating that thought and agree with him. I come from a wonderful family and one that has always supported me. I have never had to really do anything that was challenging. In fact, someone has always been there to help out if things ever got too stressful. This is my chance to use my circumstances to grow up. I have the option of falling apart and hacking out a piece of my life or stepping up. But why go without something wonderful and/or necessary when I could learn to handle stress better?
I'm not advocating taking on a multitude of activities just to prove something to yourself. In fact, I am a huge proponent for simplification (I'll probably post about that soon as well...because I've been thinking about that lately too). However, when things can't be gotten rid of (like marriage, school, and work), I challenge you to look at your situation as a chance to rise to the occasion. And by "rise to the occasion" I don't mean be the best in your career or graduate with honors. It is far more than that. It is living with integrity, kindness, and quiet trust despite what we're going through. It's about building character and putting away childish ways of reacting when we don't get what we want. We are made up of more strength than we realize and don't have to fall apart in the midst of crazy schedules or hard life circumstances.
Remember..."He has given us everything we need for life and Godliness."
Here's to a crazy, beautiful fall season.
The Perfect Weekend
I had the most lovely, wonderful weekend. Hubs and I are finally learning to speak to each other calmly. We tend to be highly over dramatic. But we've really been doing better lately. I am happy to say, that I probably won't die of a heart attack...at least not anytime soon, anyway. So we've been going along in our calm little world and topped off a good couple of weeks with a fabulous weekend. Friday was spent with friends, dinner and wine, and a wet-pants inducing game. Obviously, a no-fail combination. Then I came home to the sweetest, most romantic husband ever and, well...the night ended well ;)
Because we are poor newlyweds, we have little extra spending money. Therefore I have been recycling clothing. ie. cutting pants into shorts and reaching into the abyss of my closet to pull out clothes I haven't worn in years. All this is an effort to keep things interesting and prevent feeling like I'm wearing the same shirt four times a week. TODAY however, we went shopping. We budgeted out some money and had quite a lovely morning doing some fall shopping. I really have never been that excited for buying new things. I felt like I hit the jackpot with the few bills I had in my hand. I can't buy anything I want anymore, but the times when I do are immensely exciting. I got quite a few nice essentials. Now, if only I could convince my mom to have mercy on me and buy me a leather jacket for Christmas...
Finally, we went shopping for some Halloween decorations. This is not my idea of a good time and I'm not even really a fan of the holiday. But according to this marriage thing, I have to think about someone else now. So I let hubs get a few things. I was expecting to have hideous boy things all around...you know, cobwebs and blood. The works. Apparently I had forgotten the kind of guy I married. He's adorable. He gets so excited about holidays because his family was never the type that celebrated or decorated for anything. So here's what he chose: a sign for our door that says, "Halloween" with a cheery black cat on it; a large pumpkin figurine; a figurine of two ghosts holding a sign that says, "Boo!"; and a another Halloween sign for our table...this one has pumpkins and cats grinning away. So if you ever come see our lovely little home, you can thank Mr. Twentysomething. He's a goober..but he's my goober :)
Finally, we'll top the day off with a movie. In fact, he just walked in with pumpkin ice cream. This is what he said, "I brought home pumpkin ice cream! There's only one condition............you can't binge."
Deal.
Because we are poor newlyweds, we have little extra spending money. Therefore I have been recycling clothing. ie. cutting pants into shorts and reaching into the abyss of my closet to pull out clothes I haven't worn in years. All this is an effort to keep things interesting and prevent feeling like I'm wearing the same shirt four times a week. TODAY however, we went shopping. We budgeted out some money and had quite a lovely morning doing some fall shopping. I really have never been that excited for buying new things. I felt like I hit the jackpot with the few bills I had in my hand. I can't buy anything I want anymore, but the times when I do are immensely exciting. I got quite a few nice essentials. Now, if only I could convince my mom to have mercy on me and buy me a leather jacket for Christmas...
Finally, we went shopping for some Halloween decorations. This is not my idea of a good time and I'm not even really a fan of the holiday. But according to this marriage thing, I have to think about someone else now. So I let hubs get a few things. I was expecting to have hideous boy things all around...you know, cobwebs and blood. The works. Apparently I had forgotten the kind of guy I married. He's adorable. He gets so excited about holidays because his family was never the type that celebrated or decorated for anything. So here's what he chose: a sign for our door that says, "Halloween" with a cheery black cat on it; a large pumpkin figurine; a figurine of two ghosts holding a sign that says, "Boo!"; and a another Halloween sign for our table...this one has pumpkins and cats grinning away. So if you ever come see our lovely little home, you can thank Mr. Twentysomething. He's a goober..but he's my goober :)
Finally, we'll top the day off with a movie. In fact, he just walked in with pumpkin ice cream. This is what he said, "I brought home pumpkin ice cream! There's only one condition............you can't binge."
Deal.
