The Advice

My family is definitely matriarchal. My grandmother has lived with us since I was sixteen...along with my mom, sister, and weenie dog, "Violet" nonetheless. So my dad has always been the lone ranger in a sea of estrogen until we got our whale of a cat, Stuey. Therefore, it's not surprise that I've gotten my share of womanly advice over the years. That advice has only increased as I head into the uncharted territory of adulthood. It's really not a wonder that the quarter life crisis is so infamous. Everyone has their own opinion on what a young person should do in marriage, their career, and life in general. It's all rather confusing. Here is the advice that I've gotten recently.

On marriage:
1. Lady from church: (In a Stepford-Wife voice) "It's really important that you learn how to please your husband in the kitchen....and in other ways as well." This was an entirely serious suggestion. I felt as though I had just stepped out of the 1950s.

2. Mom: "Unless you marry Prince Charming, most of us marry average men...and the fact is, the two sides of their brain don't connect." Definitely sound, science supported advice. This is my mom in a nutshell.

3. My sister on my husband drinking more than is ideal at his bachelor party:
Me: "I'll have to discuss that with him."
Sister: "He's over 21, right?"
Me: "Yes"
Sister: "There will be no discussion."
Most of our childhood I had the role of the big sister, given her illness. At times, however, she decides that she will make up for lost times.

On choosing a career:
This morning I was having a mini-crisis. I forgot that I was on-call last night for my job, and didn't answer my phone when I was supposed to. Therefore, it was apparent that my superiors don't like me, I'll get a bad reference, won't get the next job I'm applying for, and therefore will end up doing something I hate and will have little chance of ever being happy again. It's really quite a logical progression. So I was chatting about the dilemma with my mom. She is pretty good at tough love. Basically her opinion was that I was a huge baby and it was time to jump out of the nest. She kindly told me that I could be a Baby Huey all my life, or I could learn to fly. (We love analogies in my family). In continuing the comparison, she said, "OF COURSE it's more comfortable to stay in your warm 'pee pants' but you'll get used to wearing dry, big-girl pants." At this point, my grandmother is listening in. She is the polar opposite of my mom. She insists that she speak with me and takes the phone. She tells me that my mom is being too hard on me and that I can vent to her anytime and that the important thing is that I try to take one day at a time. Don't even worry about what I will do for full-time work. I go through several rounds of them passing the phone back and forth telling me completely different things. Like I said, it's really not surprise that I'm writing this blog in the first place.

Eventually, I decided, they're both right. Taking responsibility and being a "big girl" kind of snuck up on me, but there's no going back. I have to step out of the nest and just do what needs to be done. I have everything I need for life and Godliness in this vast God I serve. He's got his hand on me and can sustain me through hard work and responsibility. On the other hand, the Bible tells me to take one day at a time. The fact is, the Lord already knows the plans He has for me and I do not have to attempt this whole "life" thing on my own. He knows my next job and wants me to trust Him to use it mightily in my life and those I'm surrounded by. I don't have to solve my problem, it's already taken care of.

"Be anxious for nothing...."